“I’m afraid to miss my childhood my daughter because of work”

My daughter is not yet two years old, but because of the difficult financial situation, I have to go to work. Due to the lack of money, we often swear


with my husband in front of the child. I understand that when I start earning, these scandals will stop, and it will be better for my daughter. But I so wanted to enjoy motherhood and see how my daughter is growing, to be with her. I reassure myself that she will spend time with my mother, and not with a stranger, but I still suffer. After all, our communication will occur only in the morning and evening. Will I miss my daughter’s contact?

Victoria, 30 years old

I understand how difficult it is for you to make this decision – to go to work and not be with my daughter, while she is growing up. But parents often have to make decisions that their children may not like. Circumstances often require this. Of course, it would be good for a child to stay with a mother up to 3 years old, until he has a natural desire to turn around to the big world and begin to explore it, go to kindergarten or other children’s groups. But grandmother (or other people replacing mom) may well become a good support for the child while parents are not nearby.

It would be good if you managed not to make the traditional mistakes of mothers who go to work early. Here are a few of them.

  1. Do not “disappear” from the house so that the child does not cry. It is better to say goodbye to my daughter, even if she cry. It is worth saying that you are going to work, but you will remember her, and return in the evening, but for now she will stay with her grandmother (nanny and t.D.). It is necessary to help the child experience his parting with you, and not just leave him.
  2. Do not blame yourself, even deep inside. Because any child will feel his mother’s guilt, and your daughter may have the feeling that mom is doing something wrong, since she feels like that. In addition, an ever -guilty mother is an easy “booty” for children’s manipulations. If you really need to work, make this decision firmly, justified and unshakable. Then your daughter will be easier to accept new circumstances.
  3. Try to spend time with her so that you are also interested in. Do not do something exhausted, just because you want to maintain contact or are afraid to lose it. If you are very tired, better sincerely ask for forgiveness and explain that today you will not be able to spend time with her. Children do not need our purity and insincerity, they feel it well.

And remember: this is not a tragedy, but a vital necessity. Other people can be divided with your daughter. The main thing is that you love her and return to her every day.